“Are you going to try to rest today? I really think you
should try to take a nap,” commented my well-meaning husband.
It was a simple question, really. It was most definitely not
one that necessitated a rise in my blood pressure, but I could feel it
happening anyway.
“I don’t know yet,” I responded, tension rising in my
voice. “I'd like to, but I don’t know if I can.”
I sighed as I looked around our home, my body yearning for
sleep, but my brain running through a rapid-fire mental list of all of the
things I needed to do. There was no way I could take a nap right now...not with so many things I needed to accomplish. So, I started with the
most noticeable task, cleaning the kitchen, which was still in disarray from a
busy Saturday full of non-stop activity.
“I’ll just clean the kitchen so I feel better and then I’ll lie down,” I promised my
husband and myself.
We both knew better, though. That’s how it always starts,
but the story almost never ends with me taking a nap. One “small” task inevitably turns into another
and soon I am I telling myself, “I can’t very well start that
within finishing this…” and before
I know it, dinner time rolls around, and by then, well, it’s much too late to consider taking
a nap. I knew that this Sunday afternoon, like so many before it, was going down a very unrestful path.
Then it happened. There
should have been a flash flood warning. One with loud alarms and bright
flashing lights, announcing to everyone in the near vicinity that there was a
desperate need to take cover. It
surprised even me as the tears poured out
of my eyes.
My husband, who knows me better than I even know myself, comforted
me with a soothing embrace and encouraged me once again to rest.
Suddenly convinced by my unattractive burst of emotion,
I knew that he was right. I lay down, snuggled up under the covers, and closed
my eyes, determined to sleep for even just a short while.
Easier said that
done. I felt like a ninja, trying desperately to combat an army of thoughts about tasks awaiting completion. Little
enemies called laundry and making dinner and doing grad school homework called all of their friends and
simultaneously attacked my mind.
But today was unlike other days. I was
determined to find some rest in the middle of my Sunday. I don’t know how it
happened, but I began fighting off the attacks one by one and before I knew it……
An hour later, I was jolted out of a sound sleep by the cry of our alarm clock.
Approximately three and half seconds after waking up, those
little enemies resumed their attacks . They hadn’t gone away while I was
sleeping (wouldn't that be a fantastic super power to have!), but with my energy cup now a little fuller, they seemed much smaller and less intimidating.
It's so hard for us to admit we aren't superhuman. That once in awhile we have to let things go and take care of us. Sounds like an afternoon nap was just what you needed
ReplyDeleteGood to know I'm not the only one who cries randomly when I get too stressed out! Although I admire the fact that you actually try to do all those little things -- I just let the house become a mess and make my husband do the dishes & laundry! I loved your personification of your worries and how they "simultaneously attacked"! I call them "the stressies" and explain to my husband that they look like the little creatures in the Mucinex commercials, except the stressies are orange. (I don't like orange -- it feels like it's screaming!) Glad you got to escape into a nap! Sounds like your husband is as sweet as mine!
ReplyDelete"The stressies"...I love that!
DeleteIsn't it hard to just admit that a little down time would be good for our soul? We can't even shut off the voices in our heads (or at least I can't).
ReplyDeleteI love how encouraging your husband was with you...those voices run non-stop in our lives. Many times I just wake up with a start with the ' stressies.' xo
ReplyDelete