8:00 on Tuesday Night
I could have...
...worked on job applications,
...replied to the emails that have been lingering in my inbox,
...researched for our Trip of a Lifetime 2.0,
...washed the dishes,
...baked some cookies for my husband,
...called my sister or my mom on the phone,
...started compiling pictures for our annual photo album,
...brainstormed ideas for my next slice,
and
...kept myself busy until midnight.
But I didn't.
Instead, I...
...put on my most comfortable jammies,
...crawled into bed,
...started a new book,
and
...read until my eyes burned with fatigue and refused to stay open any longer (about 30 minutes).
6:00 on Wednesday Morning
I feel...
...refreshed,
...alert,
...ready,
and
...thankful that I put all of the "could have"s and "should have"s out of my mind for one night.
After all, they will all still be there waiting for me tonight.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
The Case of the Lock That Refused to Open
"Come on....please!" I pleaded.
I had exhausted all reasonable options already. I had calmly spun the dial back and forth in the appropriate fashion, just as I had almost every day for the last several months. When that didn't work, I gave the black knob a few extra twists and started again. Seeing that my efforts were to no avail, I resorted to begging, yes, begging, an inanimate object. I stared at my gym locker and the combination lock that seemed determined not to allow me to access my phone, my car keys, or any of my non-sweaty clothes.
"Three, seventeen, twenty-seven," I muttered under my breath. "I know that's right! Why won't you open?" I wondered aloud in frustration as I twisted right, twisted left, twisted right one more time, and then yanked the silver gatekeeper with much more force than I knew was required. Nothing happened. I was quickly losing this battle to my combination lock. I had always trusted him to keep my belongings safe while I exercised in peace, but today my former friend was now my foe. And not just any foe at that, but one keeping me from everything I needed and from a doctor's appointment that started in less than an hour.
I could feel eyes on me and I wondered if curious onlookers thought I was trying to break into someone else's locker. I felt the need to defend myself, but resisted and instead tried to focus on how to solve the problem at hand.
Suddenly, an image of a poster I'd seen hung on the locker room walls flashed through my mind. For months, I had ignored its warnings, but today, I took comfort in its words: "Locks that are not removed by the end of the day may be cut off by Planet Fitness staff."
"That's it! I'll just go ask someone at the desk to cut my lock off," I thought to myself, relieved at discovering a potential, though not ideal, solution.
Deciding to give him one final chance before ending his life, I pleaded with my lock yet again. I spun to the right, stopping at three; I spun to the left, stopping at seventeen, and I spun to the right, stopping at twenty-seven. "Here goes nothing..."
Nothing was right. He didn't budge.
With no other option, I made the Walk of Shame to the front desk to explain my predicament, ensuring the associate that the locker was, in fact, mine, and that if they called my phone, they would hear it ring inside. The look of desperation on my face was enough to convince her, and she reached behind the desk to retrieve a massive tool that almost seemed like an unfair match for my poor little lock.
Together, we returned to the site of the battle. "This one right here?" she questioned, motioning toward locker 20.
"That's the one..." I replied, trying to hide my embarrassment and simultaneously wondering if I'd ever be able to show my face at this Planet Fitness branch again.
She opened the jaws of the giant lock-cutter and slowly put its mouth on the silver neck of my lock.
"Wait!" I cried, stopping her. I'm sure she already thought I was insane. She was definitely going to go home and tell all of her friends about me tonight. Maybe she'd tweet about it. I didn't care. "Will you just try it for me...just to be sure?"
I recited the combination for her out loud, and watched her fingers twist the dial carefully--right, then left, then right again.
Once again, it refused to budge. Still not wanting to completely destroy my lock, I gave it another "last" feeble attempt. If it did actually open at this point, it would be downright humiliating, but I had to at least try. He was a committed little bugger, though, and so, as he refused to open, his life had come to an abrupt end.
I gave the associate a nod and she raised the Jaws of Death to his shiny silver neck. With one snip, the battle was over. The gatekeeper had been removed from his post, and I was free to access all of my belongings.
After thanking my rescuer, I immediately checked my phone, where I had stored the combination to my lock in case of a momentary brain lapse (don't ask why I locked the phone, which held this essential information, IN the locker...). "Did I just remember the combination incorrectly?"
I peered down at the screen. "Three, seventeen, twenty-seven," I read. I had been right all along.
Shaking my head in confusion, I slung my backpack over my shoulders and walked out to my car, grateful to be holding the keys that had seemed so far away only moments before. It was, and would forever remain, The Case of the Lock That Refused to Open.
Ten minutes later, I found myself wandering through the aisles of Kroger, approaching yet another sales associate. "Excuse me, ma'am. Could you please tell me where I could find the combination locks?"
I had exhausted all reasonable options already. I had calmly spun the dial back and forth in the appropriate fashion, just as I had almost every day for the last several months. When that didn't work, I gave the black knob a few extra twists and started again. Seeing that my efforts were to no avail, I resorted to begging, yes, begging, an inanimate object. I stared at my gym locker and the combination lock that seemed determined not to allow me to access my phone, my car keys, or any of my non-sweaty clothes.
"Three, seventeen, twenty-seven," I muttered under my breath. "I know that's right! Why won't you open?" I wondered aloud in frustration as I twisted right, twisted left, twisted right one more time, and then yanked the silver gatekeeper with much more force than I knew was required. Nothing happened. I was quickly losing this battle to my combination lock. I had always trusted him to keep my belongings safe while I exercised in peace, but today my former friend was now my foe. And not just any foe at that, but one keeping me from everything I needed and from a doctor's appointment that started in less than an hour.
I could feel eyes on me and I wondered if curious onlookers thought I was trying to break into someone else's locker. I felt the need to defend myself, but resisted and instead tried to focus on how to solve the problem at hand.
Suddenly, an image of a poster I'd seen hung on the locker room walls flashed through my mind. For months, I had ignored its warnings, but today, I took comfort in its words: "Locks that are not removed by the end of the day may be cut off by Planet Fitness staff."
"That's it! I'll just go ask someone at the desk to cut my lock off," I thought to myself, relieved at discovering a potential, though not ideal, solution.
Deciding to give him one final chance before ending his life, I pleaded with my lock yet again. I spun to the right, stopping at three; I spun to the left, stopping at seventeen, and I spun to the right, stopping at twenty-seven. "Here goes nothing..."
Nothing was right. He didn't budge.
With no other option, I made the Walk of Shame to the front desk to explain my predicament, ensuring the associate that the locker was, in fact, mine, and that if they called my phone, they would hear it ring inside. The look of desperation on my face was enough to convince her, and she reached behind the desk to retrieve a massive tool that almost seemed like an unfair match for my poor little lock.
Together, we returned to the site of the battle. "This one right here?" she questioned, motioning toward locker 20.
"That's the one..." I replied, trying to hide my embarrassment and simultaneously wondering if I'd ever be able to show my face at this Planet Fitness branch again.
She opened the jaws of the giant lock-cutter and slowly put its mouth on the silver neck of my lock.
"Wait!" I cried, stopping her. I'm sure she already thought I was insane. She was definitely going to go home and tell all of her friends about me tonight. Maybe she'd tweet about it. I didn't care. "Will you just try it for me...just to be sure?"
I recited the combination for her out loud, and watched her fingers twist the dial carefully--right, then left, then right again.
Once again, it refused to budge. Still not wanting to completely destroy my lock, I gave it another "last" feeble attempt. If it did actually open at this point, it would be downright humiliating, but I had to at least try. He was a committed little bugger, though, and so, as he refused to open, his life had come to an abrupt end.
I gave the associate a nod and she raised the Jaws of Death to his shiny silver neck. With one snip, the battle was over. The gatekeeper had been removed from his post, and I was free to access all of my belongings.
After thanking my rescuer, I immediately checked my phone, where I had stored the combination to my lock in case of a momentary brain lapse (don't ask why I locked the phone, which held this essential information, IN the locker...). "Did I just remember the combination incorrectly?"
I peered down at the screen. "Three, seventeen, twenty-seven," I read. I had been right all along.
Shaking my head in confusion, I slung my backpack over my shoulders and walked out to my car, grateful to be holding the keys that had seemed so far away only moments before. It was, and would forever remain, The Case of the Lock That Refused to Open.
Ten minutes later, I found myself wandering through the aisles of Kroger, approaching yet another sales associate. "Excuse me, ma'am. Could you please tell me where I could find the combination locks?"
Monday, March 24, 2014
A Letter from Your Substitute Teacher
Dear Mr. B,
We've never met before. In fact, we probably will never meet in person, as the worlds of Industrial Technology and ESL don't often seem to collide. Still, after spending a day in your shoes I feel like I know so much about you and what kind of teacher you are.
"How?" you ask?
Well, I saw hints of your personality as I sat down in your chair and admired the tidiness of your classroom and the careful way you had assembled your detailed substitute teacher binder.
I sensed your concern for your students and your desire for them to succeed as I read your note encouraging me to read all of the IEPs for your students so that I could know how best to help them in your absence.
As my eyes wandered around the room and read the posters challenging your freshmen to earn college credit, to get involved in after-school activities, and to THINK before they speak (words that are True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind), I learned that you are a teacher who wants students to pursue excellence, and who believes that your job as an educator is not limited to the confines of the classroom.
I saw that you are loved, valued, and appreciated by your students, as their faces fell in disappointment when they peeked into your room and discovered that you were missing.
I deduced that you are self-sacrificing, as I realized you do not feel entitled to isolated planning periods or even a quiet lunch, but instead view those parts of your schedule as opportunities to open your classroom door to kids who seek a quiet place to work or just want to escape a crowded cafeteria.
I ascertained that you are trustworthy and considerate, as athlete upon athlete arrived at your door, toting heavy sports bags, explaining that you always allow them to store their belongings in your room.
Finally, I saw that you have high expectations for your students and maintain a productive classroom, as your students worked diligently all day long, knowing exactly what to do and making good use of their time--even in your absence.
So, you see Mr. B, we have never met, but today I feel honored to know you. I respect you, and quite honestly, I want to be like you.
Your Substitute Teacher,
Laura M.
We've never met before. In fact, we probably will never meet in person, as the worlds of Industrial Technology and ESL don't often seem to collide. Still, after spending a day in your shoes I feel like I know so much about you and what kind of teacher you are.
"How?" you ask?
Well, I saw hints of your personality as I sat down in your chair and admired the tidiness of your classroom and the careful way you had assembled your detailed substitute teacher binder.
I sensed your concern for your students and your desire for them to succeed as I read your note encouraging me to read all of the IEPs for your students so that I could know how best to help them in your absence.
As my eyes wandered around the room and read the posters challenging your freshmen to earn college credit, to get involved in after-school activities, and to THINK before they speak (words that are True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, and Kind), I learned that you are a teacher who wants students to pursue excellence, and who believes that your job as an educator is not limited to the confines of the classroom.
I saw that you are loved, valued, and appreciated by your students, as their faces fell in disappointment when they peeked into your room and discovered that you were missing.
I deduced that you are self-sacrificing, as I realized you do not feel entitled to isolated planning periods or even a quiet lunch, but instead view those parts of your schedule as opportunities to open your classroom door to kids who seek a quiet place to work or just want to escape a crowded cafeteria.
I ascertained that you are trustworthy and considerate, as athlete upon athlete arrived at your door, toting heavy sports bags, explaining that you always allow them to store their belongings in your room.
Finally, I saw that you have high expectations for your students and maintain a productive classroom, as your students worked diligently all day long, knowing exactly what to do and making good use of their time--even in your absence.
So, you see Mr. B, we have never met, but today I feel honored to know you. I respect you, and quite honestly, I want to be like you.
Your Substitute Teacher,
Laura M.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Unexpected "Thank You"s
"Thanks for doing the laundry," my husband said as he pulled a freshly washed and folded pair of socks from his top drawer.
This was not the first time my sweet husband has thanked me for an act that was, in my eyes, so small. For some reason, though, his words this morning struck me as unbelievably kind and precious.
I hadn't done anything out of the ordinary. Laundry duty is something I do every weekend without thinking about it, and certainly without expecting a "thank you" in return. It has become such a habitual action that, to me, it hardly merits recognition. And yet, he took the time to stop and thank me for it.
Those two simple words touched my heart this morning, communicating to me that even though I saw this household chore as an assumed duty, he didn't take it for granted. He didn't take me for granted. As he unfolded his socks, he looked beyond the black cotton foot warmers and saw the time that it had taken from my Saturday to wash, dry, and fold our clothes...and subsequently took the time to express his gratitude.
His words echoed in mind this afternoon. We live in a culture where we tend to throw the phrase "thank you" around quite a bit. We give "thank you"s to cashiers for passing us our receipts, to employees who load our shopping carts with grocery bags, to waitresses who bring us our restaurant bills, and to kindhearted individuals who hold doors for us. These "thank you"s are certainly merited, but their meaning is often lacking because they tend to be spoken out of obligation. The power of my husband's words this morning was due, in large part, to the fact that he didn't have to say them. It wasn't a social nicety. It was just him being nice.
In light of his kindness, I find myself wondering, "Do I regularly take the time to brighten others' days with unexpected, yet deserved 'thank you's?" As I get ready to start a new week, I want to learn from my husband's example and actively look for ways to bless others with this little phrase. Thank you. The words are so simple and so easy to say. Still, when they are spoken from a sincere heart to an unsuspecting person, their power is magnificent.
This was not the first time my sweet husband has thanked me for an act that was, in my eyes, so small. For some reason, though, his words this morning struck me as unbelievably kind and precious.
I hadn't done anything out of the ordinary. Laundry duty is something I do every weekend without thinking about it, and certainly without expecting a "thank you" in return. It has become such a habitual action that, to me, it hardly merits recognition. And yet, he took the time to stop and thank me for it.
Those two simple words touched my heart this morning, communicating to me that even though I saw this household chore as an assumed duty, he didn't take it for granted. He didn't take me for granted. As he unfolded his socks, he looked beyond the black cotton foot warmers and saw the time that it had taken from my Saturday to wash, dry, and fold our clothes...and subsequently took the time to express his gratitude.
His words echoed in mind this afternoon. We live in a culture where we tend to throw the phrase "thank you" around quite a bit. We give "thank you"s to cashiers for passing us our receipts, to employees who load our shopping carts with grocery bags, to waitresses who bring us our restaurant bills, and to kindhearted individuals who hold doors for us. These "thank you"s are certainly merited, but their meaning is often lacking because they tend to be spoken out of obligation. The power of my husband's words this morning was due, in large part, to the fact that he didn't have to say them. It wasn't a social nicety. It was just him being nice.
In light of his kindness, I find myself wondering, "Do I regularly take the time to brighten others' days with unexpected, yet deserved 'thank you's?" As I get ready to start a new week, I want to learn from my husband's example and actively look for ways to bless others with this little phrase. Thank you. The words are so simple and so easy to say. Still, when they are spoken from a sincere heart to an unsuspecting person, their power is magnificent.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Sensing Spring
Yesterday, my morning commute was the inspiration for my Friday "slice of life." My evening commute was equally as inspiring, but in a different way. As I drove home, I soaked in the beauty of spring all around me and mentally wrote the lines below:
Spring made a grand appearance today! I could sense her all around me...
My ears heard her whisper in the cheep cheep of little birds and then shout through the roaring music of passing drivers who, like me, couldn't resist the urge to drive with the windows down.
My nose smelled her in a wonderful, appetite-inducing whiff of a charcoal grill, fired up for a springtime BBQ.
My eyes saw her in the joyful smiles and furious pedaling of the neighborhood children as they raced around on their bikes.
My skin felt her as the sun's rays touched and warmed my bare arms, thankful to no longer be covered up by a winter coat.
My lips tasted her as they relished a delicious frozen afternoon snack, grateful to savor cool treats after many months of sipping hot drinks.
Yes, Spring was here today. I sensed her all around me.
Did you?
Spring made a grand appearance today! I could sense her all around me...
My ears heard her whisper in the cheep cheep of little birds and then shout through the roaring music of passing drivers who, like me, couldn't resist the urge to drive with the windows down.
My nose smelled her in a wonderful, appetite-inducing whiff of a charcoal grill, fired up for a springtime BBQ.
My eyes saw her in the joyful smiles and furious pedaling of the neighborhood children as they raced around on their bikes.
My skin felt her as the sun's rays touched and warmed my bare arms, thankful to no longer be covered up by a winter coat.
My lips tasted her as they relished a delicious frozen afternoon snack, grateful to savor cool treats after many months of sipping hot drinks.
Yes, Spring was here today. I sensed her all around me.
Did you?
Friday, March 21, 2014
Music & Memories
It was one of those mornings when, despite its best efforts, my under-eye concealer simply could not hide the effects of a night of sleep cut short. The caffeine from my second over-sized mug of coffee desperately tried to compensate for the lack of natural energy I possessed, but it wasn't succeeding.
As I drove to school, I took a deep breath, turned on the radio, and attempted to assure myself that I would survive the day, despite my heavy eyelids.
Just then, my ears perked up as they absorbed the first few notes of a familiar tune. My brain knew that it had heard that string of notes before, but it was so long ago that I couldn't quite remember the band who sang it or any of the words. Yet, the song felt so familiar.
Then, like a flash of lightning, recognition struck! As I suddenly remembered the song, the band who sang it, and every single lyric, I was brought back to my junior high days, when I used to belt out this tune with my youth group pals.
I couldn't resist. Ignoring the stares from traffic in parallel lanes, I proceeded to crank up the volume and, letting out my inner junior higher, I belted out the song just as I had many years ago.
A few minutes later, the music faded and I noticed that, although I felt twinge of disappointment at the song's end, I suddenly felt a surge of energy that no amount of coffee could have supplied.
My blood was pumping and I was ready for whatever was in store for me at school. I had found my ultimate energy cocktail: music and memories!
As I drove to school, I took a deep breath, turned on the radio, and attempted to assure myself that I would survive the day, despite my heavy eyelids.
Just then, my ears perked up as they absorbed the first few notes of a familiar tune. My brain knew that it had heard that string of notes before, but it was so long ago that I couldn't quite remember the band who sang it or any of the words. Yet, the song felt so familiar.
Then, like a flash of lightning, recognition struck! As I suddenly remembered the song, the band who sang it, and every single lyric, I was brought back to my junior high days, when I used to belt out this tune with my youth group pals.
I couldn't resist. Ignoring the stares from traffic in parallel lanes, I proceeded to crank up the volume and, letting out my inner junior higher, I belted out the song just as I had many years ago.
A few minutes later, the music faded and I noticed that, although I felt twinge of disappointment at the song's end, I suddenly felt a surge of energy that no amount of coffee could have supplied.
My blood was pumping and I was ready for whatever was in store for me at school. I had found my ultimate energy cocktail: music and memories!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Thankful Thursday
Inspired by Janna's blog posts each week, which have reminded me to stop and be grateful for the many blessings in life, I decided to do my own Thankful Thursday post.
Today, as with every day, I have much to be thankful for. Among a myriad of other things, I am thankful for...
...sweet students and their words of affirmation. They have no idea how much it means to me when I hear comments like, "Yes! You're our sub again today?!" or "You're our favorite sub!" flow out of their mouths. Those words can keep me going for days.
...opportunities to practice trusting and praying when I am tempted to be stressed. I had one of these "opportunities" this morning, when I arrived to my substitute teaching assignment and discovered that several critical materials for my lesson were missing. Eek! It all worked out, as it always seems to. I'm thankful for the end result, too!
...the incredible outpouring of support and the thoughtful comments I received in response to my prayer post yesterday about my sister and niece. Thank you!
...the fact that I finally submitted my very last grad school assignment yesterday!
...a husband who shares my affinity for celebrations. A friend once told me, "You guys find a reason to celebrate things all of the time!" I guess it's true...we do tend to celebrate the little things and the big things...and I'm glad!
...a husband who yesterday walked for 15 minutes in the rain just to buy me my favorite drink at Kroger (flavored sparkling water) as a way to celebrate my completion of grad school. It's the "little things" that mean the most.
...for spring and reminders of new life!
...leftovers and the extra time they are giving me away from the kitchen tonight (even better when the leftovers consist of curry!).
...opportunities to learn. This year has been full of growth opportunities for me!
...accountability partners and friends who are willing to check in with me and ask "the hard questions."
... little moments in my day when I can squeeze in a bit of reading time and escape to another world.
...pictures and videos of my 2-year old niece that make the 600-mile span that separates us a bit more bearable.
...the arrival of my "Greek Islands" Lonely Planet travel guide that arrived today and the promises of adventure it holds for my summer.
For these things, and so many more, I am thankful!
Today, as with every day, I have much to be thankful for. Among a myriad of other things, I am thankful for...
...sweet students and their words of affirmation. They have no idea how much it means to me when I hear comments like, "Yes! You're our sub again today?!" or "You're our favorite sub!" flow out of their mouths. Those words can keep me going for days.
...opportunities to practice trusting and praying when I am tempted to be stressed. I had one of these "opportunities" this morning, when I arrived to my substitute teaching assignment and discovered that several critical materials for my lesson were missing. Eek! It all worked out, as it always seems to. I'm thankful for the end result, too!
...the incredible outpouring of support and the thoughtful comments I received in response to my prayer post yesterday about my sister and niece. Thank you!
...the fact that I finally submitted my very last grad school assignment yesterday!
...a husband who shares my affinity for celebrations. A friend once told me, "You guys find a reason to celebrate things all of the time!" I guess it's true...we do tend to celebrate the little things and the big things...and I'm glad!
...a husband who yesterday walked for 15 minutes in the rain just to buy me my favorite drink at Kroger (flavored sparkling water) as a way to celebrate my completion of grad school. It's the "little things" that mean the most.
...for spring and reminders of new life!
...leftovers and the extra time they are giving me away from the kitchen tonight (even better when the leftovers consist of curry!).
...opportunities to learn. This year has been full of growth opportunities for me!
...accountability partners and friends who are willing to check in with me and ask "the hard questions."
... little moments in my day when I can squeeze in a bit of reading time and escape to another world.
...pictures and videos of my 2-year old niece that make the 600-mile span that separates us a bit more bearable.
...the arrival of my "Greek Islands" Lonely Planet travel guide that arrived today and the promises of adventure it holds for my summer.
For these things, and so many more, I am thankful!
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