Inspired by Janna's blog posts each week, which have reminded me to stop and be grateful for the many blessings in life, I decided to do my own Thankful Thursday post.
Today, as with every day, I have much to be thankful for. Among a myriad of other things, I am thankful for...
...sweet students and their words of affirmation. They have no idea how much it means to me when I hear comments like, "Yes! You're our sub again today?!" or "You're our favorite sub!" flow out of their mouths. Those words can keep me going for days.
...opportunities to practice trusting and praying when I am tempted to be stressed. I had one of these "opportunities" this morning, when I arrived to my substitute teaching assignment and discovered that several critical materials for my lesson were missing. Eek! It all worked out, as it always seems to. I'm thankful for the end result, too!
...the incredible outpouring of support and the thoughtful comments I received in response to my prayer post yesterday about my sister and niece. Thank you!
...the fact that I finally submitted my very last grad school assignment yesterday!
...a husband who shares my affinity for celebrations. A friend once told me, "You guys find a reason to celebrate things all of the time!" I guess it's true...we do tend to celebrate the little things and the big things...and I'm glad!
...a husband who yesterday walked for 15 minutes in the rain just to buy me my favorite drink at Kroger (flavored sparkling water) as a way to celebrate my completion of grad school. It's the "little things" that mean the most.
...for spring and reminders of new life!
...leftovers and the extra time they are giving me away from the kitchen tonight (even better when the leftovers consist of curry!).
...opportunities to learn. This year has been full of growth opportunities for me!
...accountability partners and friends who are willing to check in with me and ask "the hard questions."
... little moments in my day when I can squeeze in a bit of reading time and escape to another world.
...pictures and videos of my 2-year old niece that make the 600-mile span that separates us a bit more bearable.
...the arrival of my "Greek Islands" Lonely Planet travel guide that arrived today and the promises of adventure it holds for my summer.
For these things, and so many more, I am thankful!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
A Prayer for My Niece
Dear Heavenly Father,
You knew how badly my sister H wanted another child. It came as no surprise to You.
You knew how elated we would all be when she shared the news with us at Christmas that you had blessed her with with a new little baby! We screamed and jumped with enthusiasm as we anticipated meeting this new blessing in just 8 months. It came as no surprise to You.
You knew how joyful H and her husband L would be when they learned that their 2-year old daughter B would soon have a sister! It came as no surprise to You.
And... You knew that H's heart would sink when the doctor told her that something on the ultrasound was irregular. Five months into the pregnancy, there was evidence of a cyst on Baby's brain. It came as no surprise to You.
But God, it did come as a surprise to all of us. So, we ask You...please comfort us all...especially H&L as they try to understand, stand firm in their faith, and trust. And we ask you for BIG things. We ask you to work in mighty ways to heal Baby W, because we know that You are capable...and that none of this was a surprise to You.
Amen.
You knew how badly my sister H wanted another child. It came as no surprise to You.
You knew how elated we would all be when she shared the news with us at Christmas that you had blessed her with with a new little baby! We screamed and jumped with enthusiasm as we anticipated meeting this new blessing in just 8 months. It came as no surprise to You.
You knew how joyful H and her husband L would be when they learned that their 2-year old daughter B would soon have a sister! It came as no surprise to You.
And... You knew that H's heart would sink when the doctor told her that something on the ultrasound was irregular. Five months into the pregnancy, there was evidence of a cyst on Baby's brain. It came as no surprise to You.
But God, it did come as a surprise to all of us. So, we ask You...please comfort us all...especially H&L as they try to understand, stand firm in their faith, and trust. And we ask you for BIG things. We ask you to work in mighty ways to heal Baby W, because we know that You are capable...and that none of this was a surprise to You.
Amen.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
A Vow to Stop Skipping the Details
I have a confession: When I am reading a book, I have a tendency to skip details and jump right to the dialogue. It was not until recently that I realized I do this, but in the last few months, I have caught my eyes on several occasions hopping over descriptive paragraphs in order to reach the inter-character conversation more quickly.
I don't know what this reveals about my inner-psyche. I'm sure I could conduct some sort of psychoanalysis to find out what this tendency of mine signifies. I haven't figured that out yet, but what I have begun to realize, is that I'm missing out! The last few books I have read have made me realize that by skipping the details (consciously or subconsciously), I am not only neglecting to experience the book as the author intended, but I am really doing myself a disservice as I fail to fully connect to and imagine the characters and scenic details. There is so much more to me than the words others hear me say, and there is so much more to the characters in the books I read than I can learn from their thoughts and words. Details and descriptions are there for a reason. What's more, I am missing out on the beauty of words that is so often present in the descriptions authors so carefully craft.
Take for example, this excerpt from a book I have been reading this week called Shooting Kabul by N.H. Senzai (thanks Jennifer for the recommendation!):
Fadi felt like a hairy single-celled paramecium, immobilized under a microscope, squashed between two plates of glass. He wished he could fly right out the window, but he couldn't. Trapped, he sat in a slippery vinyl chair under Principal Hornstein's probing gaze (p. 195).
I had been reading furiously, trying to find out what was going to happen to the main character and his family, when I came to this description. I stopped. I reread it. And I smiled.
I just love the way Senzai has perfectly captured how Fadi felt in that moment as he sat in the principal's office. Honestly, at first, I thought to myself, "a 'hairy single-celled paramecium'? Who describes someone like that?" but as I re-read the words, I fell in love with them. This description is just wonderful!
These are the types of depictions I fail to see and treasure when I skim through books, focusing too heavily on the dialogue. In every other facet of my life, I am about as detail-oriented as one can get, so I'm not sure why it has taken me so long to apply that aspect of my personality to my reading. But that's all in the past. Today, I am vowing to stop skipping... and start savoring...the details.
I don't know what this reveals about my inner-psyche. I'm sure I could conduct some sort of psychoanalysis to find out what this tendency of mine signifies. I haven't figured that out yet, but what I have begun to realize, is that I'm missing out! The last few books I have read have made me realize that by skipping the details (consciously or subconsciously), I am not only neglecting to experience the book as the author intended, but I am really doing myself a disservice as I fail to fully connect to and imagine the characters and scenic details. There is so much more to me than the words others hear me say, and there is so much more to the characters in the books I read than I can learn from their thoughts and words. Details and descriptions are there for a reason. What's more, I am missing out on the beauty of words that is so often present in the descriptions authors so carefully craft.
Take for example, this excerpt from a book I have been reading this week called Shooting Kabul by N.H. Senzai (thanks Jennifer for the recommendation!):
Fadi felt like a hairy single-celled paramecium, immobilized under a microscope, squashed between two plates of glass. He wished he could fly right out the window, but he couldn't. Trapped, he sat in a slippery vinyl chair under Principal Hornstein's probing gaze (p. 195).
I had been reading furiously, trying to find out what was going to happen to the main character and his family, when I came to this description. I stopped. I reread it. And I smiled.
I just love the way Senzai has perfectly captured how Fadi felt in that moment as he sat in the principal's office. Honestly, at first, I thought to myself, "a 'hairy single-celled paramecium'? Who describes someone like that?" but as I re-read the words, I fell in love with them. This description is just wonderful!
These are the types of depictions I fail to see and treasure when I skim through books, focusing too heavily on the dialogue. In every other facet of my life, I am about as detail-oriented as one can get, so I'm not sure why it has taken me so long to apply that aspect of my personality to my reading. But that's all in the past. Today, I am vowing to stop skipping... and start savoring...the details.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Flashback
January 12, 2012
As our boat slowly made its way back to Tonsai Pier, we breathed in the fresh air, admiring the breathtaking limestone cliffs and the jade-colored ocean waters that surrounded us. It was day 6 of our long-anticipated "Trip of a Lifetime," and we were relishing the beauty of Ko Phi Phi, Thailand. On our snorkeling tour that day, we swam and kayaked among a myriad of brightly-colored aquatic creatures in the crystal-clear Thai waters.
In less than a week, we would be required to tell our boss definitively if we would commit to teach in Beijing for yet another school year. It was a decision we had discussed, analyzed, prayed about, and toiled over for months. Should we return to the U.S. to pursue graduate studies, or should we stay in Beijing to teach students we loved in a place we had considered "home" for the last 3 years?
We huddled closely to keep warm as the sun set and the air cooled around us. As we did, M (my husband) looked at me seriously and announced that he was "ready to take the plunge" by telling our boss that we would be leaving Beijing at the end of this school year. For several months, we had been pretty certain that this would be our decision, but the gravity of it struck us as our boat continued its journey back to the pier.
Returning to the U.S. meant leaving a land and people we had come to love. It meant abandoning security and the place we had called "home" for our entire married life. It meant willingly entering a lifestyle vastly different than the one we had be living, and a significant drop in the amount of time we could spend together. It meant subjecting ourselves to what would inevitably be an intense 2 years.
Something in that moment made us cherish our time together on that boat. We were 1/3 of the way through our "Trip of a Lifetime," and we recognized that when we returned to Beijing after day 21, our life would begin a journey down a very different course. It was the beginning of the end of "The China Season" of our life.
Feeling emotions of both sadness and anticipation mingle in our hearts, we decided that at the end of the next phase ("The Grad School Season"), we would go on another "Trip of a Lifetime." We committed to saving our pennies (and our airline miles) and excitedly began to dream about the places we could visit. Trip of a Lifetime #1 took us to Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore. Where would Trip of a Lifetime #2 bring us? Part of me wondered if this "Trip of a Lifetime #2" would ever truly become a reality, or if it was just a way to make us stop thinking about the massive life changes that awaited us upon the conclusion of this wonderful adventure. Either way, it was a welcomed distraction.
March 16, 2014
Our dream is becoming a reality! The trip that began as a dream on a small snorkeling boat more than two years ago is starting to become a reality. Piece by piece, it is coming to fruition! Our plane tickets have been "purchased" (with miles) and our itinerary is almost finalized. We have poured over hundreds of pages of travel guides and have found lodging we can "pay for" (with points) for 15 of the 18 nights we will spend on our second Trip of a Lifetime. The "countdown clock" has been set: 83 days until we officially declare an end to The Grad School Season of life and embark on our Trip of a Lifetime 2.0.
A midst my excitement, questions linger in my mind. What will we name the next season of life? What landmark events will characterize this upcoming stage? And will we one day embark on a Trip of a Lifetime 3.0?
As our boat slowly made its way back to Tonsai Pier, we breathed in the fresh air, admiring the breathtaking limestone cliffs and the jade-colored ocean waters that surrounded us. It was day 6 of our long-anticipated "Trip of a Lifetime," and we were relishing the beauty of Ko Phi Phi, Thailand. On our snorkeling tour that day, we swam and kayaked among a myriad of brightly-colored aquatic creatures in the crystal-clear Thai waters.
In less than a week, we would be required to tell our boss definitively if we would commit to teach in Beijing for yet another school year. It was a decision we had discussed, analyzed, prayed about, and toiled over for months. Should we return to the U.S. to pursue graduate studies, or should we stay in Beijing to teach students we loved in a place we had considered "home" for the last 3 years?
We huddled closely to keep warm as the sun set and the air cooled around us. As we did, M (my husband) looked at me seriously and announced that he was "ready to take the plunge" by telling our boss that we would be leaving Beijing at the end of this school year. For several months, we had been pretty certain that this would be our decision, but the gravity of it struck us as our boat continued its journey back to the pier.
Returning to the U.S. meant leaving a land and people we had come to love. It meant abandoning security and the place we had called "home" for our entire married life. It meant willingly entering a lifestyle vastly different than the one we had be living, and a significant drop in the amount of time we could spend together. It meant subjecting ourselves to what would inevitably be an intense 2 years.
Something in that moment made us cherish our time together on that boat. We were 1/3 of the way through our "Trip of a Lifetime," and we recognized that when we returned to Beijing after day 21, our life would begin a journey down a very different course. It was the beginning of the end of "The China Season" of our life.
Feeling emotions of both sadness and anticipation mingle in our hearts, we decided that at the end of the next phase ("The Grad School Season"), we would go on another "Trip of a Lifetime." We committed to saving our pennies (and our airline miles) and excitedly began to dream about the places we could visit. Trip of a Lifetime #1 took us to Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore. Where would Trip of a Lifetime #2 bring us? Part of me wondered if this "Trip of a Lifetime #2" would ever truly become a reality, or if it was just a way to make us stop thinking about the massive life changes that awaited us upon the conclusion of this wonderful adventure. Either way, it was a welcomed distraction.
March 16, 2014
Our dream is becoming a reality! The trip that began as a dream on a small snorkeling boat more than two years ago is starting to become a reality. Piece by piece, it is coming to fruition! Our plane tickets have been "purchased" (with miles) and our itinerary is almost finalized. We have poured over hundreds of pages of travel guides and have found lodging we can "pay for" (with points) for 15 of the 18 nights we will spend on our second Trip of a Lifetime. The "countdown clock" has been set: 83 days until we officially declare an end to The Grad School Season of life and embark on our Trip of a Lifetime 2.0.
A midst my excitement, questions linger in my mind. What will we name the next season of life? What landmark events will characterize this upcoming stage? And will we one day embark on a Trip of a Lifetime 3.0?
Sunday, March 16, 2014
SOL So Far
It is March 16th, which means that I have completed 15 of the 31 blog posts in my first-ever Slice of Life Challenge. Today, I'm taking a moment to ponder my feelings about accepting this challenge.
There are days when I love blogging. These are the days when I feel connected to a world of other writers whose words encourage and inspire me. These are days when the words just flow and my only problem is that I can't move my fingers across the keyboard fast enough to keep up with the thoughts pouring out of my brain. These are the days when I realize that I've been "thinking like a writer" and seeing details in life I would have missed only 16 days ago.
But to be honest, there are some days when I don't love it. There are days when I give up on the idea of ideas pouring out of my head and just pray for a trickle...something...anything. There are days when I spend thirty or forty minutes writing, only to re-read what I wrote and then delete it all, discouraged by the blank screen staring back at me.
After contemplating my love-hate relationship with blogging, I have come to this conclusion:
That first set of days is wonderful. They are the days when I have the most warm-fuzzy writer feelings. But, I believe that perhaps the second set of days--the ones others might call "bad"--are the ones that keep me coming back. The days when it is hard remind me of the reason I accepted this challenge in the first place. When I struggle to improve my own writing craft in my native language, I am reminded of the difficulties my past and future students (will) face as they write in a second language. When I discover ways to improve my own writing, I think of future opportunities I will have to share these discoveries with students. When I fear that people will think my writing is sub-par, I think of those kids who have certainly felt similarly. And so, I'm glad that I accepted the SOL Challenge 16 days ago! It is most certainly a challenge, but it is a rewarding one.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
A "No List Saturday"
Last night, as I closed my eyes to go to sleep, I sighed. And then I did it again. They weren't exhalations of exhaustion, like the one that often escape my lips. These were were sighs of relief, of satisfaction, and of accomplishment. The week had been a long one and on Friday night when I closed my eyes, I finally breathed out the last of my pent up stress and inhaled the hopeful promises of a restful Saturday.
This morning, I woke up to the sound of nothing. No screaming alarm clock. No immediate thoughts rushing through my brain of all the things I had to do today and all the tasks I didn't finish yesterday. Just peace. And then suddenly...a novel thought..."What am I going to do today?" I don't remember the last time I asked myself that question. Even on Saturdays, I usually wake up to a list that is so long it would take superhuman powers to actually accomplish everything on it in a mere 24 hours. But on this beautiful, sunny, Saturday morning, there is no list waiting to be tackled.
Just the thought of a "No List Saturday" put a pep in my step as I strolled to the kitchen to make some breakfast. "Today is going to be wonderful," I thought to myself, as I began to think of the many activities I could fill my day with. I even popped an extra gummy vitamin into my mouth in the midst of my glee. After all, if it's fun to start each day with something that is "officially" healthy, but secretly just feels like candy, it's even better to begin a Saturday with more!
So now, I'm excited, I'm full of anticipation, I'm at 200% of my recommended daily vitamin intake, and I am so ready to commence my day.
Sigh.
This morning, I woke up to the sound of nothing. No screaming alarm clock. No immediate thoughts rushing through my brain of all the things I had to do today and all the tasks I didn't finish yesterday. Just peace. And then suddenly...a novel thought..."What am I going to do today?" I don't remember the last time I asked myself that question. Even on Saturdays, I usually wake up to a list that is so long it would take superhuman powers to actually accomplish everything on it in a mere 24 hours. But on this beautiful, sunny, Saturday morning, there is no list waiting to be tackled.
Just the thought of a "No List Saturday" put a pep in my step as I strolled to the kitchen to make some breakfast. "Today is going to be wonderful," I thought to myself, as I began to think of the many activities I could fill my day with. I even popped an extra gummy vitamin into my mouth in the midst of my glee. After all, if it's fun to start each day with something that is "officially" healthy, but secretly just feels like candy, it's even better to begin a Saturday with more!
So now, I'm excited, I'm full of anticipation, I'm at 200% of my recommended daily vitamin intake, and I am so ready to commence my day.
Sigh.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Words
"A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day."
This powerful Emily Dickinson quotation begets both conviction and inspiration in my heart.
I am convicted when I realize that a daily running record of my words would not always prove that I agree with Emily Dickinson in this quote. Sometimes, I haphazardly speak in a way that suggests that I believe words can leave my lips and then simply dissipate into the surrounding air. I neglect to pause and consider the type of seeds I am planting in the minds of my listeners. I let raging emotions trump reason or kindness and foolishly assume that apologies will somehow retract the words I so thoughtlessly spoke into being. Sometimes, I fail to speak the words of love and affirmation others need.
If the above quotation is true, and I believe that it is, I'm dismayed to think of the type of life I have, at times, put into being as a result of my own carelessness.
At the same time, I am inspired when I imagine the beautiful bits of life I can put into the world when I choose my words intentionally. I can speak small seeds of truth, motivation, empowerment, and love to those around me. I am encouraged, knowing that although my words may sometimes seem to fall on deaf ears, they very well may be continuing to grow far beyond the day I first utter them. All of the "I know you can!"s, the "I believe in you!"s, the "You are so smart!"s, and the "I care about you!"s that seemed to be in vain may one day grow in the minds of students I interact with to such an extent that they will conquer the condescending giants that now rule their minds.
I aspire to live in constant awareness of the fact that, as Proverbs 18 says, "the tongue has the power of life and death"...and to use mine for life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)